Saturday: I just fell off my chair. Which really hurt, only compounded by the uproarious laughter around the newsroom as I picked myself up and tried to carry on working pretending nothing had happened. In fact, I have been in the wars this week. I also managed to burn the end of my finger when barbecueing during the weekend. Now I can’t type a word without shooting pains leaping up my hand. Windy.

Sunday: Just to make everyone jealous, I’m swanning off on holiday again in a couple of weeks time. I know what you’re thinking, I’ve only just come back from about three months away and can’t possibly need another holiday. But I have had a very stressful time of it recently. You see I have moved in with people who eat cornflakes and milk for breakfast every morning, it’s just too much to handle. Cold.

Next week: Talking of my flatmates, mine have developed an unhealthy obsession with The Sopranos. I warned them before they started, but all this has led to is them sitting around, wearing vests and having vaguely macho conversations involving a lot of grunting. It’s amazing how their behaviour has changed. I’m going to suggest they get the Sex and the City box set next and see what happens. Frosty.