Ask Karen: My wife and I have been married for nearly 30 years but, since the children left home we have drifted apart. Sadly, we have decided to go our separate ways. Could you please tell us on what grounds we could file for divorce?

A: I often get asked what the grounds for divorce are and whether it is possible to get a “quickie” divorce based upon “irreconcilable differences”. Unfortunately, it is not. There is, in fact, only one ground for divorce, which is that your marriage has irretrievably broken down. To prove this to the court, you must establish one of five facts in your divorce petition. The first two are based on the other party’s “fault”.

These are adultery, where the other party has committed adultery and you find it intolerable to live with them any longer, or unreasonable behaviour, where your spouse has behaved in such a way that you can’t reasonably be expected to live with them.

If neither of these apply, or you don’t want to blame your wife for the breakdown of the marriage, you would have to wait until you have been separated for at least two years before petitioning for divorce and your wife then needs to consent. If she does not, you must wait until you have been separated for five years. The fifth fact is desertion, where your spouse has deserted you for at least two years. However, this fact is rarely relied upon.

If you continue to live under the same roof it is still possible to rely on the fact of two or five years’ separation. However, there needs to be a sufficient degree of separation and this will depend on your living arrangements. You must prove that you have led entirely separate lives.

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