Ask Karen: My husband and I have agreed to separate and I now intend to issue divorce proceedings. However, there are a number of issues regarding our joint finances. What is mediation is and is it something we should think about?

In an attempt to reduce the number of cases going through the courts and the Legal Aid bill from April 6, 2011, all divorcing and separating couples will be referred to mediation before proceedings in relation to children and finances can be issued.

Mediation is a process whereby, with the assistance of a specially trained, impartial third person (“the mediator”) you and your husband can discuss and try and reach agreement on all sorts of issues surrounding your divorce or separation, for example, finances, the family home and the children.

The role of the mediator is not to give you advice but to gather the relevant information from both of you, helping you work out what the issues are, identifying any common ground and helping find solutions. The mediator will not take sides and is there to assist the discussions and to make sure you both get your point of view across.

Mediation is voluntary and confidential. It is not counselling and nor do mediators try to effect reconciliation between you. Mediation can be a very cost effective alternative to what can be traumatic, lengthy and expensive court proceedings. If successful, it enables you both to make decisions that suit you and to be in control of the outcome rather than leaving this to the decision of a judge. To have the best chance of reaching a fair and workable agreement you must be willing to be open and honest throughout the process.

Under the new rules, before a court application can be issued it will be compulsory to consider mediation by attending a mediation information and assessment meeting. At this meeting, with the mediator’s help, you can decide whether mediation is an appropriate way forward. You can usually attend separately or together and there is no obligation to proceed with mediation if you do not want to do so. It remains a voluntary process throughout and either party can therefore withdraw at any time.

At the end of mediation, if agreement has been reached, the mediator will put together a document setting out the agreement in writing. That agreement, however, is not binding and relies on both parties honouring it. If you attend a mediation assessment meeting and mediation is not considered suitable, or if mediation subsequently breaks down without agreement being reached, you may want to seek the advice of your solicitor as to how you wish to proceed. If mediation is successful you will be referred back to your solicitor for advice on the terms of the agreement and if necessary, for documentation to be drawn up. You may also want to seek advice during the process.

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