Concern that Brent East MP Ken Livingstone needs campaign funds for his battle to be Mayor of London has been confirmed. Asked by Radio Four who was paying for his full-page ad in the Evening Standard, Ken said: "Hopefully, the people reading the advert, that's why the credit card hotlines are listed. Otherwise the Evening Standard bailiffs will be knocking on my door."

Harrow Council's new press officer Rachel Adler works part-time as gossip columnist for a clubbing newsletter. She seems not to be the only council publicist whose real expertise lies elsewhere. Harrow People editor Jo Lloyd said in the special budget edition: "Having more of a head for beer than for budgets myself, I'm sort of confused to find that some of the reductions within this budget do not affect services at all." Me too, even when I'm sober.

Yates's pub in Harrow was hoping to pull in the punters on Valentine's Day by giving away moist towels infused with a pheromone scent subtly entitled Lucky Tonight. It gives new meaning to the phrase "baby wipes".

Deputy leader of Harrow Council Keith Toms was his usual frank self at the party to celebrate our 100th issue. "God in His wisdom allocated brains in the ratio of one to every seven councillors," he explained. "The trick is to work out which councillor is on the rota for any particular meeting."

Steve Grayson, the Pinner-based photographer sacked for faking a picture of the Beast of Bodmin for the News of the World, has complained about the Times Series "invading his privacy" by covering his appeal to an industrial tribunal. The words "pot", "kettle" and black spring to mind.

Brent Liberal Democrats claim that their campaign to save Barham Park Library was boosted when Michael Caine said on telly it was criminal to close libraries. Councillors Havard Hughes and Paul Lorber have invited the actor to visit the library in Wembley, an invitation as likely to be accepted as the one sent to Glenn Hoddle by Norwood Ravenswood, the Stanmore-based charity for people with learning difficulties.

The calm with which governors of Nower Hill School in North Harrow are taking accusations of financial mismanagement is remarkable. At a meeting to discuss a rescue plan on Tuesday last week, some were clearly seen fast asleep.

Brent and Harrow's public mortuary has received an Investors In People award.

Converted for the new archive on 30 June 2000.Some images and formatting may have been lost in the conversion.