Saturday: If you are in the business of removing rubbish, wouldn’t you come up with a better name than Rubbish Removals? I know I would, mainly to avoid the obvious sniping at their name and the possibility that people don’t pick you to take away their rubbish. I only mention this because a van with Rubbish Removals emblazoned across it cut me up as I drove through Harrow and I was very upset at the time. Sunny.

Sunday: Summer is here, it’s official, the Weatherman has said it. I’ve left my coat at home, I started to feel a little over-warm when out and about and, for the first time this year, I wound the window down while driving so everyone could hear Girls Aloud over the radio. Because let’s be honest, you shouldn’t keep great music like that to yourself. Soon it will be time for barbecues, wearing shorts and sangria. Sunny.

Next week: Did you know there is such a thing as a walking fish? Apparently one turned up dead in the Thames Estuary. This is just a flavour of the press releases I receive every single day, most of which I can’t write about. The fish is interesting, this kind of thing isn’t: “Internet communities organise to take on global economic crisis” – if only I could get through to to stop them sending me stuff. Sunny.